Pixie Mama: The Beginning

I’ve been blogging for a while under another name as a single mom but when I was contacted about this new blog starting up I decided it was time for a fresh start. So you maybe are wondering where I’m going to start with this. I will start from the day my family became complete. It was almost 2 years ago and now looking back at it all it seems like a fairy tale. I went from homeless, poor, and alone to finding the love of my life (just "Love" from now on), having a home, and having a complete family.
I’d technically been in labor for a day and a half already but I wasn't dilating yet. The pain just kept getting worse and worse. I finally called my mother who had just come to town the day before. I just couldn't take the pain anymore. My mom came over and sat with me while she timed my contractions. It was definitely time for my boy to make his big debut into the world. I don’t think he will ever understand how big his birth was for me, or at least not until he has his own children.
My mom got me in the car and we went to pick up my step-dad. I was in so much pain and they were cracking jokes the whole time; it's a wonder I didn't strangle them both! It seemed like my mom was going over every possible pot hole and railroad track on the route and my step-dad was making all kinds of jokes about my water breaking and my son being born in the rental car; they're lucky I was in so much pain. I was in way too much pain to strangle the both of them. For the record, my water never broke on it's own, the doctors had to do it for me.
We got to the hospital and I was admitted. They put me in a wheel chair despite my telling them it hurt worse when I was sitting. They put me in labor triage and I was there for what felt like hours with a RN telling me that I wasn't in labor. We all knew I was but because it wasn't registering on the monitor she swore I was having Braxtin Hicks. Finally, thanks to my cousin who had delivered at the same hospital, a midwife decided that my contractions weren't registering because I was having back labor. They waited to move me til I was at 3 cm. Once I was moved thing started to get hazy. I was given Nubian first, really didn't work. People came in and out. They put me on an oxygen mask because my O2 levels were low. They gave me the epidural. Then the next thing I remember is the beautiful moment my son was born. He was born the day before I was suppose to be induced. I panicked at first, I couldn't hear him cry. They laid him on my chest while they finished up. He had a lot of hair for a newborn. His body was covered in fine, newborn baby hair; even to this day Mini me has a hairy back. His eyes were dark brown almost black but I could see him staring right at me. He reached straight for my hand. I cried like I never had in my whole life. The most beautiful boy I had ever seen in my life and he was right there and mine. After everyone had come and gone--I'd be willing to bet the hospital had never had that many people waiting for a single baby!--I was left with my son and my thoughts. I couldn't sleep. I don’t like hospitals and sleeping in one was not something I was thrilled about. Never the less I had one of the best accomplishments of my life a little boy who looked like he was made completely of me. My life, my love, my angel, my mini me

Kindergarten Success!

My Tiny Boy Human has ADHD and ODD (oppositional defiant disorder), making him very difficult to deal with when he does not have his medication. I did not want to medicate him at first; I tried all sorts of natural ways to help him with his inability to focus: herbs, diet restrictions, etc…and nothing worked. Once I decided to try the medication, I wanted to kick myself in the rear for not giving it to him sooner! The change in him was immediate, and it was a lifesaver! He was able to listen better and follow directions, so he was no longer getting in trouble. I was no longer yelling at him or pulling my hair out in clumps or crying in a corner because I was losing my mind. We no longer had shouting matches which resulted in tears….things were all together much easier, and our house became much happier!

Tiny Boy Human started Kindergarten and seemed to be having trouble adjusting to school. Thankfully, his teacher has her own children with ADHD and knew immediately that his trouble stemmed from his medication not “kicking in” until nearly lunch time, making morning learning time a struggle for both him and her. So his pediatrician changed his medication to something that would be faster acting. Little did I know, the new medication he was prescribed was only going to help with the attention deficit part of his disorder, only to make his ODD worse. He was going to the office daily and I am pretty sure he broke some sort of record when he, my 5 YEAR OLD, was suspended from school for 2 days on only his third week of KINDERGARTEN. No friends, you are not hallucinating; you read that correctly. He was removed from school for 2 days due to his poor behavior, of which he really had no control over. It was heartbreaking, as his mother, to see him struggling so much when I knew that inside he wanted to be good but his brain just was not functioning the way it was supposed to.

But the good news is, we changed his medication back to the original with the plan of giving it to him much earlier to give it time to absorb into his system so he would be ready for class right away! And it worked! He no longer has any issues at school and he is thriving! He tells me every day how much he loves going to school, riding the bus, and even homework! That’s right readers, he loves his homework!

Tiny Boy Human got his first report card and out of 25 graded areas, he got 21 S's (standard met--highest marks), 3 N's (needs improvement) and only 1 U (standard not met). He also received +'s (highest markings) in all 8 graded areas for work habits and study skills! And then, he read a book to me:

"This is my yellow bear. This is my red bear. This is my purple bear. This is my blue bear. This is my brown bear. I have many bears."

He read it all, all by himself, and only needed help with the word "many." He has been reading a book to me every night; it is a little bittersweet to go from reading to him while in our glider, to him reading to me, but I am so proud!

We had "student lead" parent teacher conferences this week. In terms of his scholastic performance, he's averaging a "B" level. He knows all of his letters and numbers, and writes them all very well. He reads at level 2 (out of 3!), he knows a lot of his sight words, and the only thing he doesn't do well with is rhyming; he thinks rhyming means the words have to start with the same letter instead of end in the same sound, he just doesn't get it yet. If he can figure out rhyming he would be one of the top students in his class! His behavior is awesome when he has his medication, and even when he doesn't have it (for various reasons we really do not want to get into) and has trouble controlling himself and focusing, his teacher says he is "one of the sweetest kids I have ever worked with and we have the closest bond out of all of my students." And that was proven when he was asked what his favorite part of school was and he replied, "being with *Mrs. Teacher!"

STOP TOUCHING THAT

I thought I would share with you some of the embarrassing and comical antics that my children put me through daily. As you may have read in my introduction, I have two children: Tiny Boy Human and Tiny Girl Human. They say and do off the wall things all the time, but being 5 and 3, respectfully, I expect that, especially since I am sarcastic and love to make people laugh. Most recently, the funny things I have had to endure involve my children “discovering” themselves.

TINY GIRL HUMAN: TGH is OBSESSED with her business; many of you may call it something else (va jay jay, downstairs, vag, sunshine….etc) but in our house, she has a business. Why? Because it is nobody else’s damn business, that is why. (Pretty clever, huh? Yeah, I can be pretty witty sometimes ha ha.) Anyway!! She is infatuated with it. She is constantly touching it, pulling it apart, and has even recently started putting things near it—which makes me extremely uncomfortable. She will walk around our house naked and show everyone her "stuff," so I have tried and tried to tell her to stop or that she can explore but to do it in private. So far, I have gotten nowhere and she is still walking around with her hands in her pants. Great.

TINY BOY HUMAN: TBH’s story is a little more comical. A few weeks ago, he came to me and was genuinely concerned when he said, “Mommy, something is wrong with my balls.” My son has a little bit of a speech delay for a 5 year old so it was everything I could do not to laugh at him when it sounded more like "bwalls." So as composed as I could be, I asked him what he meant. With a very worried face he said, “Well, there are cracks all over them. But they are not bleeding or anything!” That just confused me further and made me want to laugh even more, but I bit my lip and asked him to show me in the bathroom. As he dropped his drawers he proceeded to tell me that the wrinkles in the skin around his testicles, his scrotum, was cracked and he was seriously bothered by it. I then had to explain to him that that was completely normal, all while trying not to burst out laughing. And then it got harder because he insisted on asking me a million questions, none of which I knew the answer to because let’s face it, I am a woman….I know minimal things about those parts.

Pretty funny, right? Well that is not the end of the TBH story. This past week, as he was getting dressed, he finds it necessary to announce to me that he has 2 “balls” and that his are “way small.” So as I am trying not to laugh yet again, he is bombarding me with questions: “why do I have 2? Why are they smaller? Are they going to get bigger? When are they going to get bigger? This has my balls in it!” (He was holding his scrotum)…..I almost fell down. It was a good 3 minutes of rapid fire questions, none of which I could answer other than “That is normal honey” while trying not to laugh hysterically.

So there it is. Both of my children are fascinated with their privates and it is taking every ounce of my self restraint not to crack up about it every time they bring it up. It is not because I am immature about it; I am just not prepared for these questions when they just ask me at the most random times. So hug your tiny ones and appreciate the funny and innocent things that spill from their mouths….these times will be over too fast and speaking for myself, I know I am going to miss them! So what are some of the most embarrassing things your children have done?

Raising Gentlemen

There are many obstacles that I am facing raising my son to be a gentleman and not just your everyday "dude." So I have come up with some things that I want him to learn as he grows up so he knows how to properly behave and treat a woman! What would you add? Tell me in your comments!
The kitchen is NOT just for girls. Get in there and learn to use the damn stove.

You do not try to change who a girl is and you do not ever let a girl try to change who you are. If either of you do, you don't really love each other in the first place.

SHOWER. USE DEODORANT. TRIM YOUR NAILS. BRUSH YOUR TEETH AND GARGLE. GROOM YOURSELF ACCORDINGLY so you do not look or smell like a bum!

A dutch over is NEVER funny. Ever.

Breaking up with a girl over the phone is never acceptable. You need to do it face to face and as kindly as you can. If it would break your heart, it will most certainly break hers.

Understand when, where and how to use basic tools.

If you ever ask a girl if something is wrong and she answers, "no," she's lying. She's just testing you to see if you care enough to keep asking. Keep asking.

The job of a stay-at-home mom is just as hard as any out-of-home career, sometimes even more difficult. Remember that.

I taught you table manners. Use them.

You will never know a stronger pull than that of your friends trying to get you to participate in their wrong doing. Resisting makes you a man. Succumbing makes you a coward and a sheep.

NEVER use your fists to solve ANY dispute. One wrong punch could take a life and it could be yours. I taught you to speak eloquently--use what you have learned and use your words.

Condoms will save your life. And your girlfriends. Even better than that, abstinence. Wait, wait, wait.

Do not use the word Gay in a derogatory manner, EVER. I have raised you to be an incredibly accepting human--don't be ignorant.

Sexting is a federal offense--you WILL go to prison. Besides, you do not want to lower your own self-worth or self-respect and any girl that is willing to send you those kinds of messages is probably not the kind of girl you want to be with anyway.

Real girls do not look like Victoria's Secret models. Real girls come in every shape, size and color. Every person is beautiful.

ALWAYS hug and kiss your mother. She gave you life, she has raised you, she was the one that was there every single second of every single day. Always tell her you love her and you are grateful to her, every single day. You are never too old to love and respect your mother.

If someone drops something, help them pick it up. It is called lending a helpful hand. You have two hands, do it at least twice a day....more if the opportunity is presented to you!

Every girl is someone's sister, mom, daughter, friend, etc....Treat her the way you would want your's treated!

Using the phrases "please, thank you, yes/no ma'am and yes/no sir" will make you a more respectful and respected person.

Respect the elderly just as you would your own grandparents.

Be true to yourself. Stand up for what you believe in, but always respect the opinions of others. Every one is entitled to their own beliefs and opinions. Do not ever belittle somebody for being themselves.

Stand up for the underdog. Do not tolerate bullying. Remember: a person who sits back and watches the bullying without stepping in to stop it is just as responsible as the person doing the bullying.

Speak up.

Be a leader AND a follower. Playing both roles will give you a healthy life balance.

Try EVERYTHING at least once. Food, sports, creative arts....you will never know what you truly love if you don't open your mind.

If you aren't interested in a girl, do not say you will call her. Do not use her for a one night stand. Do not lead a girl on. EVER.

Tobacco is NOT cool. Neither are drugs. It will diminish your appearance, make you smell bad, and do ungodly things to your health. Please, do not get caught up in the hype. It is a nasty habit to smoke, chew, or use.

A Guide to Life

Be good to yourself. There are some things everyone deserves: love, respect, time to recharge. Never settle for less.

Seek out your dreams. Start small. Take it as it comes. Even a butterfly has to inch along as a worm before getting its wings.

Listen to your heart. Trust your gut. If the way seems unclear, look within you.

Let your voice be heard. You have a story to tell and opinions that count. And a difference to make.

Stay curious, wonder. Take every opportunity to learn. Knowledge is a gift. It will take you places; do not take it for granted.

Hold on to what is important. Let worries go. No matter how you look at it, some things just do not make sense. The way you choose to carry on is what really matters.

And when you make that list of everything you want in life, be sure to make another list of what you have already got. And be sure to start that list with all the things that make you into what I already know you to be: a beautiful person. Those reasons are enough to write a book, there are so many.

But above all, most importantly, please remember you are wanted, cherished and loved, and will be for eternity.