Pink Warrior: Fighting while Mommy

I found out at the end of January 2013 that my cancer had returned and was now stage 4 (in my lung, liver, and the lymph nodes of my stomach). I have spent most of 2013 in a hospital room with lots of time to think about what I am going to do. 

I wake up day and night thinking about my little ones and what will happen to them if mommy doesn't fight to stay alive for them. Then I break down and think of the things I would miss out on if I didn't fight (both proms, graduation, weddings, grandchildren, maybe even great grandchildren).  Then I start thinking of plans I have and want to make. I have so much to live for and I don't want my time to stop. 

I have a wonderful support system. My parents have stepped in and help get them to and from school.  They are doing all the the things I should be doing. May god bless them!

As for the other parent, their BF, I thought he was going to be supportive.......

I thought he was going to have my back (like he said he would).......

I guess I was wrong about that and about other things he has said.  Oh well guess I will pick those battles as they come.

A little about my past history,  back In 2008, I had stage 3 Breast Cancer.  I went through the double mastectomy, chemo, and radiation.  Then the wait for the 5 year "your good" check up.  But mine never came. On January 1st I was diagnosed with pneumonia. It didn't get better and I started not to be able to eat or drink and then was so weak. I went to see a doctor for my stomach and he did a CT scan and there it was... mets in the liver. After several tests and painful waiting they now knew what was wrong with me. So now I am fighting cancer again.  I hope I can be here for my children to grow up. I go for chemo every 3 weeks for the rest of my life and I am okay with that. ANYTHING to be here for my little angels!

So if I could give advice to moms everywhere it would be 3 things......

1. Hug tighter and longer!

2. Make memories not plans....

and 3. Don't take anything for granted. Life's to important to be stressed all the time.

The Nursing Nurse: The Flu!

Hello Readers!

Let's talk about the flu. First and foremost, let me say it is NOT too late to go get your flu shot! Flu season is expected to run through early March this year. The shot takes about two weeks to take effect. No, it will not give you the flu, that is impossible. The flu shot is a dead virus. A dead virus can't make you sick! Some people may get a slight reaction (most don't), but however bad you think that reaction is, it is nothing compared to the actual flu. Also, go get your kids the flu shot too!

The other most important thing you can do to prevent the flu is wash and sanitize your hands every chance you get! Did you touch the gas pump? Sanitize. Did you touch a door handle? Sanitize. Shake someone's hand? You get the idea!

Now, let's talk about what to do if you do get the flu. First of all, if you get the flu shot and still get the flu, it does not mean the flu shot is ineffective. The flu shot protects against 3-4 different flu viruses, including H1N1-which has already killed several people, most of them young and healthy. There are several different strains of the flu, the shot protects against the most common strains. You may be one of the unlucky ones who get an uncommon strain.

So, you get the flu. How do you know if you have the flu virus verses the rhinovirus (common cold)? You will most likely have some or all of these symptoms:

-A fever, possibly a high fever -SEVERE body aches, especially in your legs -Cough with chest congestion -Nasal congestion -Possible nausea/vomiting -Possible diarrhea -Headache -Extreme fatigue

Now remember, the so called "stomach flu" is not the flu at all, it is known as norovirus. If you have norovirus, you will have about 24-48 hours of the worst vomiting and diarrhea of your life. The flu shot does not protect against norovirus, because it is not the flu.

Unfortunately, because the flu is a virus, an antibiotic will not help. What you need is:

-Tylenol or Motrin for fever and body aches -Lots of fluids (water, Gatorade....stay away from pop or juice) -Sleep. A lot of sleep.

There is one medication that might decrease the severity of your symptoms or shorten the duration. It doesn't work for everyone, and can cause nausea and vomiting (it did for me personally a few years ago). It's an antiviral drug called Tamiflu. If it's something you're interested in (if you get the flu), you can call your doctor, as it is prescription only.

Don't worry if you can't or don't feel like eating, not eating for a few days won't do much harm. On the other hand, not drinking WILL: so make sure you are getting lots of fluids.

Sometimes, the flu isn't something you can sleep off at home. Sometimes it is much more serious and you need to be either hospitalized or seen by a doctor. If you have any of these symptoms, you need to go to the hospital the second they start. Many of the people that have died from the flu probably could have been saved had they went to the hospital sooner.

-Shortness of breath or trouble breathing -Fever of 104.5 or higher -Unable to keep any fluids down or not urinating regularly -A blue color to your lips, around your belly button, or in your finger nails. This is known as cyanosis which means your body is not getting enough oxygen. It is very serious.

What if you're nursing and have the flu? Well, there is no reason you can't breastfeed because you have the flu. You will not pass it on to your baby through breast milk (but it can be passed on through kissing/touching, so save the kisses and sanitize your hands). The only concern about nursing while you have the flu is the fact that you're taking Tylenol and Motrin around the clock. Although Tylenol and Motrin are completely safe for babies (disclaimer: Motrin is only safe after 6 months old), big doses can be hard on their little livers and bellies. You would probably be fine to nurse even with the Tylenol and Motrin around the clock, but my personal decision for when I had the flu was to nurse every other feeding (and alternate with formula) instead of every feeding just because it made me feel more comfortable. If you or your child gets the flu, whatever you do, do NOT send them to school or go to work! You need to be fever free for 24-48 hrs WITHOUT the help of Tylenol or Motrin before you aren't at risk of infecting others!

I hope this info helps you if you do end up with the flu like I did (I did get my flu shot, but probably was one of the unlucky ones to get a different strain). Stay healthy Readers!

Pixie Mama: Lady Bit PSA

Ok readers, This one is more about me and less about my mini me. I was informed that I may have Endomitriosis about April of 2013. I was surgically diagnosed October 2013. I have been on large amounts of birth control and hormones since. They recently told me to stop my meds and to try for a baby (mini me is so on board about this he keeps running up to my belly petting it and snuggling it saying "lub baby"..... nope not yet kid." The fear for my doctor is that I am 25 with only one baby. She is afraid of me missing my chance at another one. The meds were not suppressing it like they should. I'm 4 months after surgery and its already back. I can understand why she feels the way she does. Love and I want another baby bad so we are trying. The Endomitriosis makes it hard to try though. I'm often in too much pain or it hurts to "do the deed" then there is the weight loss i'm having from being off the meds. I gained a lot and now i'm dropping it like nothing. The problem you may ask? My boobs are always the last thing to go. Looking at my old photos you would never guess that at one point I was 200lbs. They pulled me off the depo and I started dropping weight like nothing. I was almost in a E-cup at that point. The pain I went threw waiting for my boobs to shrink was horrid. I spent weeks in bed on my heating pad cause it hurt to move. I've always had back problems, I only shrink down to a D. That is as small as I get. 100lbs and still a D. My back is starting to hurt with all the weight loss. Now its not the weight loss that is hurting me so bad. Hormones make me gain, always. When i'm off hormones the weight just starts dropping and I eat a lot less. Because of the rapid weight loss I end up in pain. This time will be different. I'm doing back strengthening workouts so this will hurt less. I guess my whole point behind this is rapid weight loss is not always the way to go. It can cause a lot of physical problems. Some more damaging then others. I don't get the really damaging stuff. Yes my back is a little screwed up but that's about it. If you look it up there are worse things that can happen to you. Also if you are having concerning things going on with your lady parts, even if it is pain out of the norm, GET IT LOOKED AT!!!!! Its the best thing you could do for you and your babies! love to you all and best of wishes from the pixie and mini house hold!

Answered Prayers

My children receive health insurance through the state. We used to get food stamps but I started working and no longer qualified, so they were cut but we got to keep the insurance. On Friday, November 1 2013, around 6pm, I tried to pick up my sons prescription. They told me it would be nearly $400!! I asked why my insurance wasn't applied and they told me it was no longer valid. I was so confused because our cards didn't have expiration dates on them or anything and I hadn't received anything in the mail about our insurance being cut. And of course it was too late to call because all of the involved agencies were closed for the weekend already.....not that it would have mattered in the case of calling my agency: there is only one phone number to call the call center and it is busy from the time the center “opens” to the time it “closes.” You can’t get through, it just rings busy; trust me, I have tried MULTIPLE TIMES.

The following Monday, November 4, 2013, I went to the county agency to figure out what happened. And while we’re at it, let’s apply for food stamps again since I am in and out of temporary positions and struggling a little bit; I mean that’s what it’s there for, right? To temporarily help struggling families through rough periods until they can do it on their own? Anyway! After EIGHT HOURS, they said they had sent me something in the mail (to this day I have still not received anything from them) requesting some info and they never got it so they ended our benefits. I asked what they needed; turns out it was something I had turned in WEEKS prior to this, I even had a receipt that they had scanned it into the system!! They said there was one more thing--that I left, picked up, and brought immediately back--and that after that it would take 10 working days for everything to be back to normal. 

Wednesday, December 11th 2013, came around and still no phone call, letter, smoke signals.....and still no insurance. So that morning, I called off work and went to the agency yet again. I sat there for FIVE HOURS for them to tell me that the case worker wasn’t there and that they were going to have to have him call me. In the meantime, they gave me a pamphlet on financial aid for health care….wait, wasn’t that why I was there in the first place?! 

Tuesday, January 14, 2014, came this week and I had to call off work due to my Nanny having a mental breakdown very last minute. Since I was already awake, dressed and had my coffee in hand, I figured what the hay, let’s go to the agency AGAIN since the insurance had still not been taken care of. I sat there for THREE HOURS this time, finally got called to the counter and the man asked me what was going on….even though I had already told them at check in. I explained EVERYTHING and he said he was going to call my caseworker to get some info, just to have a seat. About ten minutes later, he called me up again only to tell me that my caseworker was teaching a training class but would be calling me THAT DAY to get things straightened out. I got no call. 
Wednesday, January 15, 2013 came around and my phone rang with an unknown number. I almost didn’t answer it. But I did and it was my caseworker’s supervisor and he told me that he was just touching base with me and wanted to call me on Thursday morning to review what is in the computer already and then process our benefits. I was a little annoyed that I had to wait AGAIN for a call instead of doing it right then and there, but agreed to an 8:30am phone call. 

Today is Thursday, 16 January 2014, and at 8:53am, my phone rang with an unknown number. I immediately answered even though I am at work. The same supervisor was on the line and he was really nice, unlike the majority of people who work at the agency. When all was said and done, he backdated our insurance to November!—AND—we were approved for the SNAP program (food stamps) and that was backdated to November as well!! I can’t tell you how much stress was relieved in just a twenty minute phone call. My son has been without his medication for so long, we’ve avoided the doctor on multiple occasions because of this, I was scared of debt from two unavoidable ER visits and I could barely afford rent, let alone our other bills, because I was really worried about feeding my tiny humans. So thankful for this help. Words cannot express my gratitude.

We're looking for YOU!

Hello out there in Single Parent Land! Here at SMU, we enjoy getting to share out lives with you in a positive fashion and we hope that you take something from what we write and learn from it, smile from it, or even just read to pass the time--if that is what you are looking to do. We strive to connect to our readers, and while there may be times we need to vent our frustrations, we try, for the most part, to keep things as silver-lined as possible. But our team is incomplete. We are looking for one or two more authors to join us in sharing our ups and downs and helping other single parents! If you think you would like to join our team, please completely fill out the contact form on the right hand side of our website and our Admin will get back to you that day!

On top of sharing our stories through our entries, we also enjoy branching out to do charity work through our communities. And even if you do not wish to join our team, we still want to hear from you in the comments below! We are looking for ideas for ways you would like to see us give back to the community! Ideas can be for any kind of fundraiser/donation drive for any charity or organization you support! To get your brainstorming started and to see some of the charity work some of our teammates have participated in in the past, please check out our GIVING BACK page! And remember to leave your suggestions in the comments below! We appreciate our readers so much and value your opinions so we want all of you to be part of our giving back!

The Nursing Nurse: Time to Panic?

Hello readers!
I'm here to give you some valuable info on when you need to call the pediatrician (or nurse practitioner ;)) and when you don't.
1) Your 4 yr old wakes up with a 103 degree fever at 4am. You need to rush to the ER, right?
Wrong. Break out the Motrin (or Tylenol), give them a dose (5-10mg/kg for Motrin and 15mg/kg for Tylenol), and check their temp again in half an hour. Has it gone down at least half a degree? If yes, you're golden. Continue dosing them every 6 hrs for Motrin and 4 hrs for Tylenol, and if they don't improve within 2 days, call your doc. If no, check them again in 20. If it's gone up, go ahead and call your doc.
Almost always, your child's fever is caused by a virus and all they need is an anti pyretic (fever reducer), rest, fluids, and TLC. Save your time and only take them to the Dr IF:
A) They aren't improving or have gotten worse within 48-72 hrs.
B) Anti pyretics are not bringing their fever down.
C) They haven't been able to keep food or water down for >24 hrs.
D) They are floppy like a wet noodle and their coloring looks grey or really pale.
E) Your motherly instinct is telling you something is not right. ALWAYS trust your gut.

2) Yellow or green snot automatically means a bacterial infection, right?
Wrong. If you see yellow or green snot, it does not automatically mean your child needs antibiotics. If your little one wakes up with a cold, give it a few days. It is most likely a virus and will clear up on its own. If it has been over a week and you haven't seen any improvement or they have gotten worse, make an appointment, they might need antibiotics. I have many parents bring their kids in on day 3 of a cold and think they need antibiotics. I never give them out on day 3 unless the kid is pretty sick. Save your time, give it some time before going to the doc.
Another big one I hear is that parents automatically think pneumonia when they can hear mucus when the child coughs or they can feel vibrations in their chest. Being able to hear/feel mucus, though troubling, is actually a good sign. It means their lungs are moving the mucus and they are able to bring it up. Worry when your child has a cough and isn't able to bring up any mucus, though you can still hear it. Pneumonia happens when mucus sits in the lungs and isn't able to be brought up.
**side note: If your child has asthma, chronic lung problems, or recurrent bouts of infection, take them early verses waiting to see if it clears up. These kids are more prone to bacterial infections and pneumonia that require antibiotics**

3) I should always alternate between Tylenol and Motrin.
Wrong. There is no clear evidence to support this practice, and it increases the risk of accidentally giving your child too much medicine. It is much easier to choose one or the other and stick to every 4 hrs for Tylenol or every 6 for Motrin. There is no proven benefit to alternating between Tylenol and Motrin.

4) CT scans, MRI, and X-ray
The docs in the ER tend to get a little "scan happy." These scans expose your little one to a lot of radiation, and while sometimes they are necessary, they aren't always. For example, if your child hits their head, they only need a scan IF:
A) They lost consciousness for any amount of time
B) They are confused or disoriented
C) They vomited one or multiple times
D) They have severe swelling or bleeding from the injury
Most likely they have a concussion and although there is nothing that can be done to treat a concussion, a scan will check and make sure their is no bleeding in the brain, which is life threatening.

5) Diaper rashes.
There's nothing worse than seeing your baby in pain, so it's important to know when your little one's diaper rash is more than a diaper rash. Could it be a yeast infection? Here's how to tell.
A) If the rash is fold sparing, meaning it's not present in the folds of your baby's grown, it is most likely just a contact dermatitis that can be treated with Desitin or Butt Paste. If it is present in the folds, it is most likely yeast and requires a Dr. visit to get prescription cream, most like clotrimazole.
B) If you've tried Desitin, Butt Paste, powder, corn starch, standing on your head....and none of that has worked, it's probably yeast.

There's a lot more to cover, but for now I will leave you with those tips. I hope I helped give you some more knowledge and peace of mind about getting your little angels back to health. Remember, always trust your instinct. If something is telling you "this isn't right" then it probably isn't. Always better to be safe than sorry!

PLEASE BE SURE TO READ OUR DISCLAIMER REGARDING ALL MEDICAL DECISIONS. THIS IS A BLOG, NOT A DOCTOR'S OFFICE! ALWAYS SEEK THE ADVICE OF YOUR OWN PRIMARY CARE PHYSICIAN!

Toe Jam

A week ago, I cut the tiny human's toe nails; I have been doing this for almost six years now and have yet to cause any harm to my children. I clipped Tiny Girl's toes, she never wiggles, and her toes were perfect. The kids went to their BF's that night (Friday) and while I was supposed to get them back Sunday night, we encountered blizzard conditions and our city was put on a level three snow emergency, meaning no cars were legally allowed to be on the road, so my babies had to stay at their BF's house. It was very hard for me to wait until Wednesday night to get them back.....but I was very happy to see their smiling little faces.

Things seemed fine; BF did not say anything had happened with my tiny ones, there was no illness and no injuries while in his care--or at least not that he either a)knew of, or b)cared to share with me. So everything was normal Thursday and Friday. That is, until Friday night. Tiny boy human suddenly could not keep down any food. He was violently ill for hours, and then into Saturday morning when he continued throwing up well into the day. Once he was able to keep food down, I thought for sure everything was calmed down and we were out of the bad luck woods. Boy was I wrong.

Saturday night, I put the tiny humans to bed. We have a routine where I ask them what the bed time rules are and they recite: "Don't talk, don't play, don't get out of bed, go sleepy ni-night!" (The don't get out of bed part means they are not to be messing with the dvd player or TV.....of course they can go potty whenever they want!) So when I heard them talking in their bedroom well after bedtime, I went in to check on them. I was not surprised to find my Tiny Girl in just her pull-up (if you have read some of my previous blogs you understand that my daughter is like a little nudist!) and she was playing with her feet. I told her she needed to get dressed because it is winter and it is chilly and I wanted her to stay warm. She replied by telling me she could not put her jammies on because "this hurts." I was confused and asked her what hurt and she held up her foot. I turned on the light and examined her foot and I was horrified by what I found.

Her big toe was completely infected! It was like it had been clipped more after I had done it, or that it had been picked at around the cuticle. It was so infected that she would not let me or the Love of my Life touch it; it took both of us to hold her down and comfort her to even get a good look at what we were dealing with. After 20 minutes of her screaming and crying, trying to wiggle away from us and applying anti-bacterial cream and a good bandage, I finally was able to get her calmed down and get her back in bed.....after she told me that it happened at her BF's house. I suspect she was picking at her toe and did not want to tell anyone for fear that she had done something wrong and did not want to get in trouble.

After she was back in the nursery and the Love of my Life and I were settled back in the living room, I cried. I felt like a terrible mommy!! I did not see it before then because I lay the kids' clothes out for them and they get dressed on their own and since they have very bad eczema, they only get baths every two or three days to prevent further damage and drying out of their skin. So I felt awful that my beautiful princess was in that much pain for who knows how long and did not say anything to anyone. And of course, with my extreme anxiety, I started thinking of the "what-if's;" what if she had not told me and I had not caught her?--the infection could have gotten so bad that she may have needed it amputated! What would I have done then?? It would have broken my heart so much if anything had ever happened to her!!

However, the good news is that her doctor put her on antibiotics and told us to soak it in warm water and epsom salts and apply anti-bacterial cream with bandages and to just keep an eye on it. With all of that, her toe should be better soon and it will be as if nothing happened! Until then, I'm just hoping she is not in too much pain!

New Year, Big Changes

It is a new year and you know what that means, resolution time! I put a lot of thought into resolutions that would be easy to keep. I do not want to be that person who puts out resolutions and then breaks them in February. So, after a lot of consideration, here are my resolutions for 2014:

*EATING*
The love of my life and I have taken to "clean eating" and regular exercise. We actually decided to try it as part of a group that my cousin was running on Facebook as a Beachbody Coach. So far, we are 4 days in and things have been pretty easy going....although it does seem like we spend most of our day prepping food. So I think on Sunday I will spend the day prepping our food for the week and it will be much easier. I think since we are in our first week it will be difficult but after three or four weeks, it will become second nature!
*SWEARING*
I swear. I have my entire life. I cannot remember a time when I have not had a little potty mouth. Even around my tiny humans....but they have never repeated me because I have taught them well and they know better. That aside, I have decided that I will stop cursing. It is a lot harder than you would think! But I have been very conscious of it and I feel like even if I have not completely stopped, I have done a very good job of keeping to an extreme minimum.
*FAMILY*
I have decided to build (or maybe re-build) relationships with many of my family members who, throughout the years for whatever different reasons, have become distant or not as close as we once were or as I wish we were. So I have sent out friend requests to many of my family members on Facebook (for the ones that were not there already) and I am hoping that with that small step, we will be able to start keeping in touch better and begin that way. My hopes are that I will be able to share my life with them through social networking: status updates on how things are (good and bad), pictures of my tiny humans, and messages to catch up with each other. My thoughts are that this will lead to more phone calls/texts and visits, ultimately equaling more time together and better, stronger bonds!
*SCHOOL*
I am continuing my psychology degree. By this time next year, I should have my degree! I am anxious about doing well in my classes but I am excited to get this done and finally graduate. I am half way through my program and I cannot wait to start a career doing something I am really interested in instead of just going from temp job to temp job!

So now that I have put my own resolutions out there for you all, I want to know what yours are! Since we are already going into the second week of the new year, have you broken any of them yet? Let us know what you have put out in the universe and are hoping to accomplish this year!

Sweet Candy: Life and its Many Surprises

I feel like I've been sucked into a tornado without warning. Life has it's up's and down's, I know, but lately it's only been downs. My brother announced on Christmas eve that he & his family are moving several states away in only a few weeks. I am very close to him, so this move will be much harder on me than other family members. Coping with this drastic change has spun my world around. But to make matters even worse, my older sister announced just a few days later, that she is also planning on moving, even farther, as soon as she hears back from a job. And to make matters worse, my parents then announced they also want to move but to an entirely different location. so I am faced with a difficult decision. Do I stay here, the place I've known my whole life? Do I leave with my parents, who are very caring & supportive? Do I move with one of my older siblings, both of whom I'm so close to? I feel trapped, confused & sad....sad that the people I love the most are going in different directions & no matter which road I choose....all roads will drastically affect me and my family.

Pixie Mama: The "Mo" Factor

This weeks blog will be short but so sweet. As a full believer in Angels and those who watch over us, I know they are here with me and Mini Me every day! Enjoy the blog!
Every morning I make Mini Me tell me everyone he loves. I do this so he works on saying names. We ran through the usual today when Mini Me shocked the.......well he shocked me to say the least. Mini Me never got to meet my grandma or grandpa. His middle name is for them, mainly my grandma. He says his middle name Mo instead of Monroe. Today after telling me "love pawpaw, love nana, love pop pop an a me" he tells me "love GG Mo an Pop Mo" I didn't cry. I held him tight and told him they love him too very much. I'm still confused. How did he know? I call my grandma Memaw and tell him that Great Memaw in heaven would of loved him so much. I don't really talk about my grandpa.I don't really remember much about him anymore. Don't get me wrong, I try hard to recall anything, but it's been so long. It all just feels so out of the blue. I may not be too sure where this came from but I did decide instead of a nap time book we would read Memaw's letter to us. I love my boy but sometime some of the things he will say or do leads me to believe he knows and understands more than he should for his age. Lord help me when he is in kindergarten.