Sweet Candy: Unwelcome Attention

Lately several men have been trying to get my attention. Which at first was flattering. Now it's getting annoying. I'm not interested & even if I was, I'm too busy right now. One of the men that works at my company happens to be one of these men, so we often run into each other during the day. I don’t like him. I think he's sleazy and haven't had a good feeling about him since the very first day. He makes inappropriate comments, including things about my toosh! So I tried to deter him by being a little cold, ignoring him, not smiling when he's around, etc...but it seems to make him try harder to get my attention....So readers, what are your suggestions?? I think telling him to stop talking to me, would just cause more problems. Leave me your advice in the comments please!

Pink Warrior: Fighting with Fatigue

So today I woke up and didn't have any energy. I just wanted to lay on the couch and sleep! Then I remember I'm a mommy. So I get up and wake my angels for school. I go into the kitchen to put a roast in the crockpot. Ugh... I don't have potatoes. So I tell my dad I have to go to the store. Then I go to get the girls up again. I tell them that I'm going to the store and want to play a game with them. While I am at the store, they are to get dressed and whoever gets done first wins. So off I go to the store which is only 2 minutes away. I walk in and the smell of fresh donuts hits me. I get my potatoes and they are on sale. So of course I go to the bakery. I buy donuts for my girls, dad, and myself. I get to the car and it is having trouble starting. I am sitting in the parking lot begging the car to start. Thank goodness it finally does. I get home and my angels are waiting to tell me they won. I can't help but laugh because they are in cute dresses with sweaters, leggings, and boots. They made sure to have everything done so they could win. I smiled and told them that I got them a special breakfast. They got excited wanting to know what it was. When I told them it was donuts, which is a treat because they don’t get them often, they started jumping for joy. So I give them their donuts and go fix the crockpot roast. I do their hair and my smallest angel is wearing her glasses that she got the day before. She looks super cute! She is worried that the kids will make fun of her so I let her take her Angry Birds case to school. It is time for the bus and off they go with their grandpa to the bus stop. Finally I get to sit back down. My body remembers how tired it is and I crash. My eyes close for a minute and I end up taking a 2 hour nap. I wake up to the phone ringing. Now I am sitting here wishing I had more energy. I just want another nap but I am waiting for the girls to come home wishing it wasn't dance night. They have cheerleading and hip~hop class tonight. I love to watch them dance but I just don't have the energy. Well I will fight the fatigue and get them to dance. When we get home they will do homework and we will have dinner. Then it is showers and Sprout on tv till bedtime. I love my angels and will push through fatigue for them. Hopefully tomorrow will be different and I do chemotherapy on Thursday. I am strong and I got this. It's all in the life of a mommy with cancer! :)

Before and After

Perfect children: is there such a thing? If you ask someone who does not have their own children yet, I am sure they will answer in a way that makes you reminisce about the days before your little bundle of joy was Earth-side, when you thought for sure your children would always be little angels and would never secretly wipe their messy mouths on your shirt while you were not looking or wipe ice cream covered hands on your freshly washed jeans or sneeze in your just washed hair. Personally, I always thought that I could raise children based on how I was raised; my parents must have done a pretty good job since I am a pretty good person, right? Wrong. Rules have changed, and people are uptight about parenting the way they did “back in the ol’ days.” But I am here to offer some comic relief to this topic! I was an expert on raising kids before I had my own—and then I found out how wrong I was. And boy did I get the surprise of a lifetime! Here are some of the before thoughts I had before having my tiny ones, along with my thoughts now. Enjoy!

1. I will never get annoyed by my children and I will NEVER yell at them.
Do not get me wrong, my tiny ones are the light of my life. But. Sometimes. I cannot hear myself think. So mommy has to go into the bathroom and close the door—which thankfully has a lock on it—and read a Cosmo or something. Sure the kids knock on the door. I just tell them I am going potty….and then I sit there and eat my Skittles and read my magazine and check out my social networking pages for a good 15 minutes until my sanity returns and I can breathe at a normal pace. And never yelling at my kids? HA. Now, I am pretty patient. I do my best to just talk to them and keep my cool. But if there is one thing I hate, it is repeating myself. And after I have told tiny boy human to stop picking on his sister 43 times, I have to raise my voice due to my deminished mental stability. Trust me, kids will not listen and you will yell. It happens. Not often in our house, thank goodness, but probably enough to let the neighbors know when NOT to knock on the door asking for some sugar.

2. My house will NEVER look like that.
If you took all of the stuffed animals at Toys R Us, Babies R Us, Build-A-Bear and the next top three stores in the U.S. that sell stuffed animals, it would still not equal the amount of stuffed animals my tiny ones have accumulated in 6 years. And that is just stuffed animals. Let’s not forget about the toys that I put together only to have torn apart again in a matter of just seconds the next morning. Carpet? Try clothes and blankets. Do not get me started on blankets—we have a giant box still packed with blankets from when we moved into our apartment….8 months ago….on top of all of the 36 blankets that are on the tiny one’s bed. Literally. 36. Have you seen that meme that says “Cleaning your house while your children are awake is like trying to brush your teeth while eating Oreo’s?” Well, it could not be more true. I am pretty sure that my house would not be clean even if I sold all of our belongings except our beds and 8 outfits for each of us.

3. I will never leave the house looking like “that.”
For the people closest to me, they know that my appearance is everything to me. It is who I am. I was raised that your appearance does not only represent you as a person but also reflects on your family. But there are days. So many days. I am tired and my kids are on my last nerve and I have things to get done without enough hours in the day. Who cares if I didn’t bother to brush my hair and just put it up in a half bun hot mess? No make-up? Pshh, yesterday’s flaky mascara will do. Did I forget to brush my teeth?—Oh well, I think I have half a stick of gum in the bottom of my purse somewhere. I will say, however, that I have never forgotten my shirt. And for that, you should say thank you.

4. My kids will never behave that way in public.
Behave, by definition according to Merriam-Webster, means to act in an acceptable way; to act properly; to act in a particular way. In the case of being a mommy, it means you will not have that tantrum in this store, thank you very much. But sure enough, my tiny angels who could do no wrong hit two-years-old and instantly became the shrieking banshee’s that we all cringe at in the store. The one tantrum with ear piercing cries that you would swear were being brought on by your baby being chased down the baby food aisle by the giant tarantula from Harry Potter. And when that happens, we leave the store.

5. My kids will not eat crappy food.
When they were infants, I only bought them organic, jarred baby food. As they got older, they always had fruit and veggies and every meal was well rounded and included a cup of milk. And now they are 6 and 4. And neither of them want anything but Mac n’ Cheese. If they pass on carrots and cherries, but gulp down Mac n’ Cheese and mashed potatoes, I’m ok with that. I will say that there are times few and far between that I can talk them into eating some peas or asparagus or even some grapes, I count that as a victory, even if it’s just a bite. Just a bite and I can sleep guilt-free.

6. My kids will listen to me.
I honestly believe that children do not develop the actual capacity to listen until they are 19 years old. Sure they can hear us just fine. But to them, we might as well be Charlie Brown’s teacher mumbling every word.

7. I will never negotiate with or bribe my children.
Screaming in the store? Mommy really needs to buy these groceries to feed you and your brother dinner for the next week so please eat these fruit snacks and stop crying so I can get this done without having to leave the cart where it is to just walk out and prevent other shoppers from buying ear plugs. Negotiate? I prefer to call it: learning to make smart choices; it makes them successful at being independent in the future. Or at least that is what I want them, and you, to think. In reality, negotiating gets me my way because I only give them options that make me happy. For example, if Tiny Boy Human wants to play the Wii, he has to give me 20 jumping jacks and 5 minutes of preschool yoga. If he doesn’t, I get to finish reading my book for my Ethics class while he plays princess castle with his sister. It is a win/win: he gets some exercise in before being a couch potato playing video games, or his sister gets to dress him and have a tea party….either way, I still get to read my book.

8. I will never be late, ever.
My children are only fast when it is on their time. Potty break? Stop short of being totally finished, pass on toilet paper and pull up your pants in such a rush that they are all bunched at the top in a folded over kind of way that makes them 3 inches shorter at the bottom and rolled up with your underwear. Bedtime? Chase the puppy around until she hides in her crate and pees and starts crying and then start wrestle-mania in the hallway. Time to get your shoes and coat on to leave? Suddenly it is like they have begun walking through quicksand. Backwards. On their hands. While limping. And using a cane.

9. I won’t let my kids stop me from running errands.
Going to the bank requires more preparation than moving across the country! It is exhausting. Sure we try to schedule things around nap time—excuse me, REST time; God forbid I say the “n-a-p” word around my children!—but it is not always possible! Sometimes I do not know how I am not in therapy for some of the experiences I have had while running errands with my children. Or in jail. There was an occasion….it was rough….we are not going to relive it.

10. I will not allow my children to watch TV.
“TV will make them lazy!” Nope. It will keep them out of my hair. I am not afraid to admit this to you all: TV is a magical device that I use daily to get stuff done. I can turn something on that beautiful 47” box and they will stay out of my kitchen while I am making dinner! It is fantastic! I will say that my tiny ones have to exercise daily for the use of their video games and such, so I do not feel AS guilty about letting them watch so much TV. Ok, I do not feel guilty at all. That thin screen has helped me keep my sanity more times than I can remember.

Becoming a Parent has changed my mind about so much. I have learned that patience and endurance can be tested to its breaking point and then pushed even further. And that you will survive it anyway. Now, if you will excuse me, I think I have some dried mac and cheese dried in my hair so I believe I will turn the TV on for the tiny ones and grab some solitary silence in the shower…or at least until they start knocking on the door in two minutes asking me for juice. Leave some comments! Tell us what your thoughts on having children would be like and how they have changed since you welcomed your tiny ones into the world!

The Nursing Nurse: Teeth!

Hello Readers!
Today we are going to talk teeth. I think many of us take our teeth for granted. Remember, you only get one set of teeth! Most babies will have a few teeth by the time they reach their first birthday. The first teeth to pop up are usually the central incisors, which are the two middle teeth on the top and bottom. Dental Care Through the Ages You can start caring for your baby's gums immediately. After nursing or feeding, it's good practice to wipe your baby's gums with a washcloth to get any leftover milk or food residue off. Don't feel bad if you never did this, it's not essential, just a good start to getting in the habit of dental care. As soon as that first tooth erupts, you need to start brushing. Brush your baby's teeth once or twice a day with a soft bristle infant toothbrush or finger brush. Many baby's will enjoy chewing on a toothbrush; which is also a great way to get them used to a toothbrush. It is safe to use a small amount of fluoridated toothpaste, about the size of a grain of rice. Make sure it is toothpaste made specifically for infants. Once your child turns two years old, you can start using fluoridated toothpaste. Make sure you use toothpaste that is made for toddlers. Use a small amount of toothpaste, about the size of a pea. You need to brush for them, as they are too young to properly clean their teeth the way they need to be cleaned. Brush twice a day, after breakfast and before bed. Children can't effectively brush on their own until they are around 7 years old. When they are younger, you can let them brush and then finish up by brushing for them. As soon as they are willing, allow them to practice brushing their teeth. Children should see a dentist for the first time around their first birthday. It is good to get established and have your baby's teeth checked, even if they only have one. Flossing before adult teeth come in is up to you. Dentists will recommend flossing baby teeth, but there is no solid evidence to support that it does any good. If anything, it will form a habit of flossing for them when they are older. Once they start getting their permanent teeth, kids should begin flossing. Recommendations say twice a day, but kudos if they do even once a day!
Never send your baby or toddler to bed with a bottle or cup. The absolute worst thing you can do for their teeth is allow milk or juice residue to sit on their teeth all night. Milk and juice should only be served with meals. Water is the drink of choice throughout the rest of the day. Don't allow your child to carry a cup of juice or milk around with them, again the residue sits on their teeth causing decay. If they insist on having a cup throughout the day, fill it with water only. Children should not be drinking more than 4-6 oz of juice daily, if any. Juice is not essential to the diet, and I generally recommend to parents not to serve juice at all. Also, NO POP!! When your little one gets a loose tooth, DO NOT yank it out. No pulling, tying a string to the door and shutting it, none of that. It is not necessary and you could do damage to their teeth and gums. Allow the tooth to fall out naturally on its own. Yes, the child can wiggle it, that won't hurt them. If they happen to swallow their tooth, don't panic. It's not dangerous to them and will pass safely in their stool. The mouth is a very vascular part of the body, meaning it gets lots of blood flow. Your child will bleed what seems like a lot when they lose their tooth. Don't worry, it is completely normal and expected. If your child knocks out a tooth, call your dentist immediately, and keep the tooth in a glass of milk until you get in to see them. You should see them immediately after the tooth is knocked out. Don't have any milk? Water with a little bit of salt will work too. Remember, getting cavities filled, crowns, root canals, and teeth pulled is very traumatic....for adults. Imagine what that would be like for your child. Not to mention, dental insurance often does not cover the full price of extensive dental work. Do them (and your bank account) a favor, take good care of their teeth!

Pink Warrior: I'M selfish?

Why is it so hard to be the bigger person and turn the other cheek. God knows I try and most of the time I succeed. But when I am attacked as a mom I just can’t turn the other cheek. This is what I wish I could say to my ex and he actually listen. I know I said I wouldn't talk about him but if I don’t get this off my chest I just might EXPLODE!

I wish you would just stop calling me selfish, petty, and childish. I have been over our divorce for a long time. You divorced me. You’re the one who wanted a different life so please go live your life and leave me and mine alone. You no longer have a right to know my business. The only part of my life you have a right to know about is the girls. MY CANCER IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! I don’t have to tell you anything. If it directly effects the girls I will gladly let you know. I have conversations with the girls about it and you don’t know what goes on in my house. Whenever I do tell you what is happening you twist it around. Prime example is when I first told you the cancer had returned and I was going to fight it you called the girls school to tell them I was dying. All you could talk about was how YOU wanted to tell the girls I was dying. So why would I tell you anything?

Oh and let’s talk about activities for the girls.(This is where he says I am selfish. This is where he says I don’t love the girls.) You crab about how I don’t go to bowling and Kids Workshop at the Gathering Place (a center for families fighting cancer). First when you asked about bowling I said they could do it but I didn’t want to be responsible for transportation. You knew that and then 2 months into it you explode about how I won’t drive them to bowling. And let’s talk about the Gathering Place. You pulled me out of the hospital to take me to court because you wanted them to go. Keep in mind not even an hour after I left the courthouse I was back in the hospital. YOU wanted it and now it is overwhelming so you have to crab about it. You can’t guilt me into doing what you want anymore. If I could go to the Gathering Place I would. Let’s not forget who is the one fighting for their life here. There are days that I have to force myself to be ok and get the kids ready for school. I spend the day nauseous and completely sick. Then the girls come home and my job as a mom starts. There is homework, dinner, and showers. And added in there the sibling drama. On the days I am ok I can go downhill real quick. I never know how the day will go. As time passes I get stronger and have more good days. Let’s also not forget I cannot drive the highway. Both of the activities you have them in require the highway or a super long drive. I have put the girls in dance and plan on letting them play soccer. And then you want to say they can play soccer as long as it doesn't interrupt Your Visitation. And I think it is wonderful to have them in activities that don't revolve around my cancer. They are 6 & 8. They don’t need to have to deal with the cancer all the time. And because these activities are so close if I do get sick my parents can take them. So all in all I think I am doing my best and if you don’t think I am go F**K yourself. The End!

Thank you for letting me get that off my chest. I would like feedback from you all as moms: what are your thoughts? I just don’t feel like I am being selfish, petty, or unloving to the girls.