Why is it so hard to be the bigger person and turn the other cheek. God knows I try and most of the time I succeed. But when I am attacked as a mom I just can’t turn the other cheek. This is what I wish I could say to my ex and he actually listen. I know I said I wouldn't talk about him but if I don’t get this off my chest I just might EXPLODE!
I wish you would just stop calling me selfish, petty, and childish. I have been over our divorce for a long time. You divorced me. You’re the one who wanted a different life so please go live your life and leave me and mine alone. You no longer have a right to know my business. The only part of my life you have a right to know about is the girls. MY CANCER IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! I don’t have to tell you anything. If it directly effects the girls I will gladly let you know. I have conversations with the girls about it and you don’t know what goes on in my house. Whenever I do tell you what is happening you twist it around. Prime example is when I first told you the cancer had returned and I was going to fight it you called the girls school to tell them I was dying. All you could talk about was how YOU wanted to tell the girls I was dying. So why would I tell you anything?
Oh and let’s talk about activities for the girls.(This is where he says I am selfish. This is where he says I don’t love the girls.) You crab about how I don’t go to bowling and Kids Workshop at the Gathering Place (a center for families fighting cancer). First when you asked about bowling I said they could do it but I didn’t want to be responsible for transportation. You knew that and then 2 months into it you explode about how I won’t drive them to bowling. And let’s talk about the Gathering Place. You pulled me out of the hospital to take me to court because you wanted them to go. Keep in mind not even an hour after I left the courthouse I was back in the hospital. YOU wanted it and now it is overwhelming so you have to crab about it. You can’t guilt me into doing what you want anymore. If I could go to the Gathering Place I would. Let’s not forget who is the one fighting for their life here. There are days that I have to force myself to be ok and get the kids ready for school. I spend the day nauseous and completely sick. Then the girls come home and my job as a mom starts. There is homework, dinner, and showers. And added in there the sibling drama. On the days I am ok I can go downhill real quick. I never know how the day will go. As time passes I get stronger and have more good days. Let’s also not forget I cannot drive the highway. Both of the activities you have them in require the highway or a super long drive. I have put the girls in dance and plan on letting them play soccer. And then you want to say they can play soccer as long as it doesn't interrupt Your Visitation. And I think it is wonderful to have them in activities that don't revolve around my cancer. They are 6 & 8. They don’t need to have to deal with the cancer all the time. And because these activities are so close if I do get sick my parents can take them. So all in all I think I am doing my best and if you don’t think I am go F**K yourself. The End!
Thank you for letting me get that off my chest. I would like feedback from you all as moms: what are your thoughts? I just don’t feel like I am being selfish, petty, or unloving to the girls.
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