A Simple Wish

I am a mommy. I have two beautiful tiny humans that I love and cherish more than anything in the world. Am I perfect? Nope, I am not. But everything I do, every single day, is always for them. And I am lucky enough that I have found the most amazing man who loves my tiny ones (who says “like” but I know he loves them despite what he says) and has three kids of his own whom he cherishes with his entire being. So between the two of us, we have 3 little him’s and 2 little me’s and an enormous amount of love. But that is not what this blog is about. This blog is probably going to be first of my blogs that you will see that I am not all sunshine and rainbows, however, it will not be terrible, just more of a to the point kind of vibe.

My divorce was not easy, nor was it quick. My divorce lasted roughly twenty months. Yes, you read that correctly—TWENTY months. Near the end, my tiny humans’ birth father began a relationship with his now fiancé. Saying I was less than happy would be the understatement of the century, but I tried to treat her with respect and be an adult; I actually appreciated when she took it upon herself to introduce herself to me—it showed a lot of character. She told me her name, that she had a son around my tiny boy human’s age and that her son also had asthma so she knew how to help my son in case of an emergency. I respected her for that, it had to have been hard for her—I know it was certainly difficult for me—but in all honesty, it made me less angry and more comfortable knowing who was around my children. Unfortunately t hat respect faded since she has shown me her true character as a person and as a mother, but that is not the point of this story. What is the point you ask?

The point of that background story is this: the love of my life and I have talked seriously about having a future together, which would mean that all seven of us, he and I and all five of the kids, would be spending much more time together. I have no problem with that, he has not voiced any concern over it, but their birth mother, however, has made it very clear that she has a big problem with me. And that makes me really sad. I would love to just be able to introduce myself to her, to say, “Hi, I am the woman that is around your children.” And she could ask me anything she wanted and voice her concerns and get it all out of her system because she really seems to dislike me to the highest capacity without even knowing who I am.

I completely understand: she is their mother and she does not want some other woman coming into their lives and trying to take her place. I am a stranger to her, and she is worried about being “replaced” and about what kind of person I am. However, that is not what I want—I would never dream of replacing her. I just wish she could see that I would never try to take her place in her children’s lives: they have a mother; they do not need another one. The only thing I would hope to let her—and the kids—know is that I am just a bonus in their lives, just another person that cares about them and their well-being, another person who will love them and be there for them no matter what.

So, while I highly doubt their mother is reading my blog, I would love to offer her an invitation to meet at a local café, buy her a coffee and let her ask me anything she wants and get out any of her concerns and hopefully ease her mind, because I know how difficult it is not to know who is around your children, I have been there. I wish there were some way that we could meet to clear things up considering the difficulties we have encountered due to the insecurities she feels with another woman being around her children. So if she is reading this somehow, I hope she sincerely accepts my invitation to get together, because I really think it may help our somewhat “unique” situation and make her more comfortable with the fact that I am going to be around for a very, very long time.