As a single working mother with two small children, I obviously need to find reliable, AFFORDABLE, child care. Someone I can trust with the two tiny loves of my life. In my search, I had to take into account that I cannot truly afford a regular day care setting without assistance, and since I do not qualify for day care assistance due to my “income” (which is BS by the way….no way people can make what I make, feed their family, pay for insurance, child care and all the bills without assistance…) I had to look for a caregiver to come into my home to do what I cannot do while I am at work—mainly: take care of my clones.
So it started in September of 2013. I decided to use a popular website to look for child care. I paid the fee and posted an ad seeking a nanny in my area. My ad read:
This would begin {on the date}!
Hours should be stable and consistent as I just began a new job. Days worked will be Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday (day off Wednesday) with no weekend hours. Hours would be 6:30 a.m. to 4:40 p.m. There is zero tolerance for tardiness. Responsibilities will include:
-Waking kids up in the AM to get dressed/brush teeth/eat breakfast
-Getting son on/off bus
-Before school/after school care for two young children
-Day-long care for youngest
-Housework during nap time
-Help with snacks/meals (breakfast, snacks and lunch)
-Help with kindergarten homework as needed (son has a book to read aloud daily, as well as flashcards that need to be reviewed daily).
Transportation is a must with 3+ years' experience preferred and copies of license and current insurance will be required upon hire. Must be a non-smoker since both children have asthma triggered by smoke. Online reference check availability would be great! We also have a puppy that needs to be taken outside every so often and she is very small and lovable. Contact me for more information today!
So the first time I posted an ad I got 11 applicants. They all got a follow up message that went something like this:
I interviewed 4 of the 11 applicants and hired the one I liked the best. MISTAKE. She had a 2-year-old daughter who was cute but very misbehaved, especially compared to my children at that age. She was not very bright; she called me 6 or 7 times a day asking me questions about the smallest stuff, including how to turn on the TV. I came home a couple of times unannounced to kind of surprise her and check in: every time she was laying on the couch sleeping; the last time I did it, both her 2-year-old and my 3-year-old were coloring on the walls with crayons. I made her wake up and clean the entire nursery. I am not sure why she chose to share this story with me but she had to tell me about the time she locked her keys, cell phone and NEWBORN in the car on a HOT SUMMER DAY. I am trusting you to look after my children, why would you think that you should tell me about a time your baby could have died due to your negligence?? The straw that broke the camel’s back? We discovered she had been DRINKING ON THE JOB. I put the ad back up that night.
The second time around, same ad, same follow up message, 11 applicants; I interviewed 2 of them this time and chose one that I really liked and seemed very hands on and qualified. There were some concerns at first but we made sure we covered them in the interview and she assured us that they would not be a problem. Well, she lied. Those issues became such a burden that they escalated to her mother thinking it was alright to get in my face one morning while I was trying to get ready for work. This girl had been bringing her younger sister with her without giving me notice—expecting me to supply food for yet another kid—and did not have her own transportation—which we covered in the interview and she assured us she would have. Her mother had a fit over one day, which happened to be my birthday, because I had to leave the girl at my apartment while I went to pick up my son’s fundraiser from school before they closed. I put it off as long as I could wait, but when her mother did not show up on time, I had to leave. When her mother got in my face about it, she made it a point to tell me, “Just because she’s 18 does not make her grown. I would never leave your children unattended like that! She should not have been here alone!” To which I had to respond, “Lady, she is 18 years old, she is here all day alone looking after young children, so being here without the young children should not be any different. Obviously being 18 does not make her grown since she is having her mommy speak to her boss. And I would pray to God that you would not leave my children unattended, they are 6 and 4!!” I then told her I was getting ready for work and refused to be late and walked upstairs into my apartment….where I proceeded to tell her daughter—and her younger sister—to get out and not to come back; I called off work that day and the ad was put back on the website.
The next time around, not as many applicants, But I hired a great one! She was amazing: although a little late most days, she did everything I asked and the kids adored her. Until one day she was 5 minutes late and I got a text: “My car will not start.” I thought to myself, “ok, I will give her a few minutes, she will get a jump from her mom or dad—or a ride—and be here in a minute.” As soon as I thought that, I got another text: “I will not be able to make it today, I am sorry.” So I called her and offered her a ride since she lived just two blocks away. I begged her to let me come pick her up and she argued with me, telling me it was too much of a hassle and she did not want to be a burden. We hung up with the understanding that she was going to find a ride and be on her way. Not two minutes later, my phone was ringing again with her number on the screen only when I answered it, it was her GRANDMOTHER. She informed me that my nanny had an ear infection and would not be able to come to work that day; I informed her that an ear infection was not an acceptable excuse to miss work and to make sure to tell her granddaughter that she was now unemployed because she could not take some ibuprofen and get to work. I again had to call off work and the ad went up for the fourth time.
How does the saying go?—the fourth time is the charm? No? Well thank goodness because the fourth nanny was just about as weird as they get. Not in a horrible, leaving-my-kids-with-a-psycho kind of way, just socially awkward. She interviewed very well but once she started working for me, she was increasingly strange. She became weirdly attached to my puppy and would not let her come to me or let the kids play with her and she would just hang out even after I told her she could go home. There were mornings she would just sit on couch and stare at the wall until the kids got up. She also never did things that I asked her to do the “right way.” The kids’ bed was never made and the nursery was never clean, their toys were always just in a pile instead of put away and the kitchen was always a mess. (In her defence, my kitchen is usually a mess anyway. But part of her job description was to clean it and it never happened.) This nanny was the first that I did not fire; she gave me her two week notice for medical reasons. The ad went back up.
FIFTH ROUND INTERVIEWS! This time, I offered interviews to only five girls; only two showed up for their interviews. I hired the sweetest girl ever and so far, things are going FABULOUS with her! She has a great attitude, she does what she is asked and the kids love her. But since this story so far has been about the struggle I have had to find this fantastic girl, let me tell you about a bullet I dodged during this fifth round stage. I had an interview lined up with a 53-year-old woman. Yes, 53 years old. We messaged back and forth; I told her the hours and the pay rate—just as the message above states—and asked if she was still interested. She said YES. So when she did not show up for her interview, I called her. To my surprise, she was asleep! So she asked me about the hours and the pay again and when I told her, she tried to negotiate with me! Without even coming in for the interview!! I was shocked. I politely declined and we hung up. Later that night on the website, I rated her with 1 star; to me, a no call-no show for an interview is rude and unprofessional—this woman deserved the single star, especially being 53!! A few nights later, at 2:30 in the morning, she emailed me cursing me out, telling me I bashed her on the website!
Now, readers, I try to be a nice person, especially to strangers and most especially to my elders. But this woman pushed my buttons and I had to put her in her place. After she sent me her nasty message, I made sure to reply:
2) Not that I owed you an explanation what so ever, I gave you one anyway, letting you know that I am a single mother trying to make ends meet at a new job and unable to offer {what she demanded}. At the end of that email I asked if you were still interested. You stated you were. If you were not interested in the position but chose to say you were: that is YOUR fault, not mine; you should have taken that opportunity to say "Thanks but this isn't a good fit for me," and saved us both a lot of wasted time.
3) For your information, if you would have chosen to go through with the interview you would have noticed that my contract offers a lot that many other families don't even consider: paid holidays, vacation time, a raise after 90 days, money for gas for field trips/eating lunch out, etc.... I also don't take taxes out so it's not like you would be losing money from every check. There is a lot more in the contract, however, since you are no longer a candidate, or even worth consideration, I am not going to waste my time.
4) Interestingly enough, I offered you an interview on Sunday at 11am. As someone who says they are a member of {a well-known church in our area}, when I called you at 11:15 and it sounded as though you were sleeping, I question your "honesty." Also an interesting find, a man I work with informed me today that you were supposed to have an interview with him on Saturday and flaked on him as well giving him the exact word-for-word excuse you gave me. I'm sensing a pattern here.
The rating I gave you was honest for my experience with you. At 54 I would expect more professionalism, maturity, responsibility, as well as better grammar, spelling and proper English. I would think that with your family connections with {a VERY famous Presidential family she claims she belongs to}, your two degrees and your previous work experience it wouldn't be too difficult to find work. If or when you do reply to my rating, I will happily reply to it and include a screen shot of our conversation where you said YES to still being interested in the position after getting the details of what I needed. We have hired an outstanding nanny, thank you. Good luck finding work.
See what I did there, readers? I was “mean” to her without cursing, or calling her names—unlike what she did. I was not “nasty” (per say lol) and while I was sarcastic, I think I got my point across. *The love of my life likes to call these kinds of messages (I write them often) my “thanks-but-go-eff-yourself” emails.* And I think he is right. But it needed to be done. The woman was very nasty. And seeing as how she handled the interview she was supposed to have with one of my coworkers exactly the same way, I am confident that she is a con-artist and should not be trusted with children.
But as I said before, we have found an amazing nanny! And until there comes a problem with her, and I pray there will not be!, I believe our search is over! Have any of you ever had a problem with a care giver for your tiny ones? Leave your stories in the comments!
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